18 Responses to “Empathic Sensitivity”

1. 

   Stat Mama February 10th, 2009 at 9:27 pm

   I have this, which surprises me, because some aspies seem to have the opposite. I’m glad you’ve written about this.

2. 

   Intern in Israel February 10th, 2009 at 10:01 pm

   I understand exactly this experience and in the same context, as well. I am an American Aspie living in Israel currently working in an Arab village in the north of the country. This last January was the most difficult thing I have ever lived through. So much death nearby put me in a state where I was constantly overwhelmed emotionally, and yet I managed to make it through a month of living so close to so people killing so many others without entirely losing it (although I had my days0. It has forced me to learn how to ground myself in various ways so that I could continue to put one foot in front of the other and slowly keeping moving. Let me tell you, escapism was a blessing that I found in good novels that were completely out of touch with reality.

3. 

   Quirky Mom February 10th, 2009 at 10:08 pm

   For me this is an on/off thing. I’m either incredibly affected by something I read or see, or else it is all intellectual. And I really do not know what makes the difference between the two experiences for me. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

4. 

   Intern in Israel February 10th, 2009 at 10:15 pm

   Also, my husband can get very frustrated when this happens. He wants me to be un-affected so that I can “enjoy” life. I do enjoy life, but I also think too many people don’t “feel” enough. Because I can be so emotionally affected by things like the attacks on Gaza I am highly motivated to share the pain of the people with others by telling their stories. I feel like someone has to help hold this pain, and I am one of those that does. Carrying this weight is an act of prayer for me-I’m not sure how to verbalize this more concretely.

5. 

   James February 12th, 2009 at 3:17 am

   It’s great to hear that I’m not the only person that experiences this, Rachel.

   I’m quite new to AS, having had something of a revelation about having it late last year.
   I’ve recently started writing my thoughts about my experiences, which you and your readers are welcome to read at http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/.

   My thoughts on this article in particular can be found at http://www.thatexplainseverything.com/experience/seeing-both-sides/

   I find your insights really useful, Rachel – thanks for sharing them.

6. 

   Rachel February 12th, 2009 at 2:23 pm

   Hi James, and welcome! Like you, I had my AS epiphany this past fall.

   I love the name of your blog, by the way, and it looks really great.

7. 

   John Dale Lyons February 12th, 2009 at 9:09 pm

   I’m like you, Rachel. I think you know that by now. I get angry when numb nuts say Aspies can’t emphasize- we’re not Hannibal Lecters (although we have a ball, lecturing).

8. 

   Rachel February 13th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

   Being a tomboy, I’ve always preferred handball to lectures.

9. 

   John Dale Lyons February 13th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

   Good one. Being a boy, I always preferred handball, till I discovered girls…

10. 

    Quirky Mom February 15th, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    I was thinking about this post as I got through an emotional weekend with my 3yo suspected-Aspie. She does this, too. Yesterday we watched two movies (Mulan and Cinderella) for the first time, and she got so upset by them both! She often gets really upset and/or frightened by things she sees on TV shows that don’t even phase other kids. One of my favorite examples is an episode of Oswald in which the main character and his dog get separated while playing hide and seek. My daughter hand-flaps her way through that episode, even after having watched it several times, until Oswald and his dog are reunited. She melts my heart with her sweet, genuine caring.

11. 

    camilla (millie) February 15th, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    hi Rachel, this is indeed very much how i live and it is as teh OT says, in keeping wiht extremed sensory processing issues. it is a gift and it actually feeds my career as a painter adn artists. Heightened sensitivity is an important attribute for any painter, but it comes at a distinct cost.
    I cannot easily filter out sensory input. A face for me, is a higly fragmented and excruciatingly detailed series of lines and freckles and wrinkles and folds and creases and patches.
    On a bad day, a simple shopping trip is a nightmare. and most exchanges with people are fraught with an emotional complexity and to-ing and fro-ing that can be mistaken for BPD but which is in fact failry obvious manifestations of sensory dysfunction. it makes for a hell of a journey and others find it difficult to contend with. As a result, those AS people with this feature (and not ALL Aspies have sensory problems) can experience much more heightened levels of stress and a lot of anxiety and emotional intensity and confusion. this can also mean increased stimming and a presentation of volatility or frequent meltdowns as in my situation.
    and most of it is generated by the sensory problems i have.
    It is also a reason why professionals and other people can mistakenly assume a BPD diagnosis and we get overlooked or sent down the traditional therapy road to no avail.

    thanks for posting more on this issue. It is oft forgotten and not adequately understood.

12. 

    General Disarray February 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    I know this is a little late, I’ve been extremely tired lately and have to catch up on all the blogs I’m subscribed to. Anyway, I know exactly what this is like. I’ve been known to get upset during some commercials. Only recently did I figure out why I dislike looking into other people’s eyes, I’m afraid that I will be able to see what they are feeling and it will be too much for me to handle. I get really upset about things that happen to others as well. I’m literally angry for them. It’s the reason I changed my concentration in college from clinical psych to neuropsych. I couldn’t handle hearing all the bad things people have had to endure, and knew I would go into what’s called “burn out” in the clinical world rather quickly.

13. 

    Ben February 18th, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    i’m with quirky mom, in that it’s either an on or off thing for me. the three legged dog with cancer on tv the other night had me crying, but other stuff doesn’t bother me at all.
    and camilla, i couldn’t agree with you more. i had a diagnosis of BPD years ago, which when i found out the clinical description, scared the hell out of me. my whole life, and my painting, seems to be a synthesis of all the sensory input, albeit at a cost, as you said.
    i bounce between needing the input for stimulation on for inspiration, and having to reduce it in order to not have headaches and general grouchiness. the nice thing about diagnosis, though is that i’m much better than accepting it about myself, and recognizing what i need, and when. i also don’t feel bad about my seeming inconsistency any more.
    thanks again for the blog, Rachel, and thanks to everybody who comments here

    Ben

14. 

    Craig Liley May 11th, 2009 at 7:40 am

    like a couple of others on here, this is a very on/off issue for me as well. Sometimes even cartoons can set it off, leaving me bawling ( thr beginning of the Disney Tarzan where the parents are killed always sets me off), but other times, even majpr events with close family members elicit nothing more than purely clinical response, making me seem cold and uncaring.

15. 

    Keith October 22nd, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    I just came across your blog when I did a google search for Asperger’s and empathy. For most of my life, I have struggled with being inwardly very sensitive to things, but rarely showing any of this to other people (I was teased a lot for it when I was really young, so I’m pretty sure that has something to do with this). I’ve recently realised that all of this is because I am probably empathic. I have a really hard time not being affected by how other people are feeling and it has always really, really bothered me to watch movies or read books where the characters are in pain.

    Up until recently, I thought I was the only person who was like this, but I am very relieved and thankful to know that I am not alone. My best friend is also empathic, which makes things pretty interesting.

16. 

    Taylor Selseth October 26th, 2009 at 12:13 am

    When I am very upset over something (my friend getting raped, stories about torture at Guantanamo, atrocities in Congo, etc) I find it excruciatingly hard to let go of it and find something to cheer myself up. What happened to my friend left me ranting constantly about people being misogynistic jerks, for example. Then people would tell me to lighten up, which would set me off ranting some more.

17. 

    Isabel August 12th, 2010 at 8:38 am

    wow.. i just had a flashback… when Katrina happened in 2005, I was so enveloped by it – I could not sleep for two weeks. I felt it so much.

18. 

    Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg August 12th, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Yup. That’s why I don’t get a daily newspaper. Bob picks up the NYT on Friday afternoon and for the rest of the week, I make sure that it’s not in plain view.