-
Jul30
Back at the Thrift Store
Filed under: Anxiety, Communication, Community, Sensory Processing Issues, Spectrum Pride, Volunteer Work;17 CommentsMy plan for this week was to meet with my new Aspie friend on Monday and to try working at the thrift store on Thursday. To make this plan workable, I began implementing my new strategy of giving myself two days at home to rest and recharge after I spend time with people outside my family. Monday’s visit went swimmingly, so after two days to myself, I decided to give the thrift store a try.
I was just as anxious this morning as I was before Monday’s visit. I gave myself plenty of time to have a workout and a good breakfast so that I could be as relaxed as my Aspie nervous system would allow. I now own a Thumper massager, and Bob used it on my back before we went to the store. I wanted Bob to walk me there and to do some errands nearby so that I’d get to see him once or twice during my shift. Having a much-loved and familiar person there seemed very important for re-entering the life of the store, and his presence was very reassuring (as always).
The reception that I got from the staff was WONDERFUL. Several people gave me hugs, and everyone was very happy to see me. I asked for something quiet to do, perhaps in the linen department? The housewares manager pointed to four baskets of linens and said, ”I just finished pricing these. You can put them out if you like.” Heaven!
I worked in the linen section for an hour and forty-five minutes, organizing everything to my heart’s content. There were all kinds of things to put out on the shelves: towels, sheets, pillowcases, tablecloths, runners, placemats, napkins, potholders, curtains, pillows, blankets, and quilts. In addition to putting out the new items, I organized all the items that were already out, which was no small task. You never realize how messy linen departments get until you’re the person who straightens it all up. Because I like organizing just about anything, I had a wonderful time at it and was very proud of how everything looked when I was done.
My only annoyance had to do with my Sonic Defender earplugs. They’re made to block out loud noise but still allow for normal conversation. Usually, I can wear them when I’m out and hear Bob pretty clearly. In the store, however, in order to hear anyone properly, I had to take one of the earplugs out every time. I didn’t mind taking the earplug out so much as getting it back in, which is always a bit of a chore. It’s possible that I know Bob’s voice so well that I hear it better than anyone else’s when we’re out in the world; it’s also possible that he knows to speak clearly when I’m wearing the earplugs.
I’m going to have to come up with a better plan for ear protection. I might just use my foam earplugs and then wear a small stereo headset unattached to an iPod. The foam earplugs are very simple to put in or take out, and with the headphones on, people will think I’m listening to music. They’ll either decide not to talk to me at all, or they’ll tap me on the shoulder to get my attention. Either way is fine with me. The store is a relatively quiet place, but there are lots of conversations that would distract and overload me without ear protection.
I’m in the midst of doing some research into whether I can get a pair of hearing aids that actually deamplify sound. It seems to me that if you can put something into your ear and turn up the volume, you ought to be able to put something into your ear to turn it down. I’ll let you all know if I discover anything interesting along these lines.
Apart from my frustration with the earplugs, my time at the store today was a great success. I was so happy to be there and to see everyone. And I’m very glad that I am officially “out” to the staff. I feel very comfortable with people knowing that I’m autistic. I don’t feel pressured to be a certain sort of person anymore, I don’t mind being awkward, and I don’t have any inclination to fake being NT. Why on EARTH would I want to do THAT? Being autistic is so interesting!
© 2009 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
17 Responses to “Back at the Thrift Store”
-
Rachel, how fantastic!
I know what you mean about the relief and comfort of being “out” with people. I have a couple of friends I’ve told recently, and it’s so much better than I feared it would be. I thought it might get all awkward, but it’s actually been very freeing. Amazingly so. Just what you wrote: no pressure, don’t mind being awkward, no inclination to fake being NT.
Mmm, bummer about the Sonic Defenders. When I read you had some in the post about the bead store, I ordered some for myself. That was the clincher that got me through the seventy-zillion choices out there. I also ordered construction-worker type headphones (Peltor Optime I), which definitely cut down sound (they don’t eliminate it entirely) but are hard to get used to. Not sure they’ll ever be a multi-hour option, darn it.
-
I forgot to say: my Sonic Defenders aren’t here yet…hope they arrive soon.
What foam plugs do you use? I can never seem to get those to work.
-
The Sonic Defenders actually work very well for taking walks outdoors. They eliminate and/or mute a lot of sounds that would otherwise jangle me. They also give me a certain distance between myself and other people. For the first time in my life, sound is in the background, and it gives me a boundary between myself and others. When I wear the Sonic Defenders, I no longer feel that I *must* respond to *everything*, which is how I used to feel.
For foam earplugs, I use Flents with a 29-decibel rating. I roll them between my fingers until they’re very thin, and then I put them in my ears. They expand to block out sound. I find that a new pair will cancel nearly everything out–the noise of the fan on humid nights, the sound of a door opening and closing, someone speaking in a normal voice. The problem is that after a few wearings, they’re not quite as good. I can still use them in order to sleep under normal circumstances, but I find myself going through more of them when I’m trying to sleep through noises I’m not used to. I’ve never tried them out of doors. It will be interesting to see how they work when I go back to the store next week.
-
Well done… It’s great to see you out and reclaiming your life. I’m wondering if you’re the same Rachel who posted here only a few short weeks (or was it months) back about more or less giving up. You sound so much happier.
I’m glad you’ve got earplugs and I can confirm that at least part of the problem will be unfamiliar voices. It will get better, even without changing earplugs.
The foam alternative may also be a good one.
As a regular user of hearing aids however, I’ll warn you off them. Not only are they expensive but they seriously distort sound, they get sweaty and uncomfortable and they’re heavy. I had hearing aids from a very young age but stopped wearing them when I turned 16. I got a new pair about 20 years later and I can confirm that the technology hasn’t improved at all. If anything, I believe that it’s gone backwards.
-
reading about you organizing the stuff at the store had me daydreaming about how nice that would be. of course, our apartment is never as organized as the stores i’ve worked in……hmmmm.
-
Alison July 30th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Hello!
Regarding ear plugs, I recently had a custom pair made for sleeping, and I find they are working really well. They are very comfortable, block everything out–I could definitely still hear the fire alarm, though– and are washable (and they don’t get stuck in my hair like the soft silicone ones….)
-
In my search for headphones, I found sets that block everything out (or lots, anyway) but have a button you can press when you need to hear the outside world. Not as fine-tunable as an adjustable mic, but better than having to take them off to hear a quick question. The brand I saw was Peltor; they make everything from kid earphones to heavy-duty industrial ones and specialized callcenter sets.
Ben – Totally with you on the daydreaming about organizing stuff! Lately, I’ve noticed that organizing things calms me down and makes me feel all is right with the world – it isn’t just about getting the stuff organized. Especially if I let myself take all the time I need and go slowly (I believe this is called “puttering”
), savoring the actual *doing* of organizing. That’s where the release from anxiety comes.Now I just have to translate this epiphany into gratitude for an opportunity to calm myself when my kids make a mess of things.
-
Hi, I’ve been thinking about getting myself some Noise Cancelling headphones for where I work (just sat a computer), to try and block out some of the noises and talking. Anyone tried these before?
-
So good to see you’ve worked up a plan for keeping “sane” and doing the things you want. That recovery time is very important!
My son uses Skull Candy ear plugs for his I-pod. He can’t hear a thing when they are in…..and I really don’t think he turns the music up too much. Can you listen to music while you’re working? Or is that too much input, too?
-
John Dale Lyons July 31st, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I join your online community in congratulating you on finding an adaptation that works. Don’t give up the good fight, to be an Aspie out in the world.
-
Jennifer Gardner July 31st, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I know i have mentioned it before, but I keep earplugs in my handbag. Whenever the hubby or kid get anxious, I pop them in their ears!
-
Rachel July 31st, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Wow, you guys are awesome! Thank you so much for all the congratulations and support. It all means so much.
In answer to the questions posed in this thread:
Dean: In researching different types of headphones, I’ve read about the electronic noise cancelling ones, and I’ve seen all kinds of different reviews. Some people love them and some people can’t stand them. If you can find a local place and try them on before parting with any money, that’s probably the way to go, since they’re not inexpensive.
Samuel: I found something on the Peltor website about earphones with a microphone you can turn up or down. It looks interesting, and if my other choices don’t work, I may try it. At this point, I have a non-electronic headset—the Peltor Optime 101—that I bought at the hardware store in my town, and I’m beginning to really like it. I had to get over the aesthetics of wearing a big headset out in the world, but I wore it today, and I felt fine. If people think it’s weird, I don’t care. They don’t have to live in my very sensitive auditory system; I do.
Re: emergency functioning and burnout…I very much agree that if your generation of autistic people can begin the process of not living in emergency mode, you’re going to be able to avoid much of the burnout that us mid-life folks are experiencing. So far, the larger world has advanced from the dark ages of institutionalizing us as children to the somewhat more well-intentioned attempt to mainstream us so that we can assimilate into the NT-majority world. I hope that the world will progress from mainstreaming to respect for neurodiversity. Once you have this respect, there will be more room for people to live life in harmony with how they were made instead of trying to fit into the culture of the majority.
-
Glad you went back to the store and it’s working out for you so far!
-
Thanks, Kate!
-
I decided to try some in the ear noise cancelling earphones, they’re cheaper than headphones. The ones I got say they block 70% of the noise, and I’m impressed by them. they feel like ear plugs when you put them in, then when you switch on the noise cancelling they do a great job. and not so conspicuous as full headphones. I’m definitely going to try and get some headphones in the future which apparently block 99% of the noise.
-
Rachel August 3rd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Dean,
What kind of earphones are they and where did you find them? I love my headset, but I’m always interested in other kinds of hearing protection.
-
‘Philips SHN2500 Noise Canceling’ is what it says on it. Got them from a store called Comet in England. I find them good because I’m just sat at a desk for 8 hrs with continual and consistent background noise, but they might not be best for everyone.
Leave a Reply
About Me
I'm Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg, and I publish this blog, Journeys with Autism. I'm a wife, mother, writer, singer, artist, photographer, community volunteer, and the chapter leader for the Vermont Chapter of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN).
At the age of 50, I awoke to my place on the autism spectrum and discovered a world of gifts, struggles, and life-changing possibilities. My latest book, The Uncharted Path: My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism, was published in July of 2010. My work has also appeared in Shift Journal of Alternatives: Neurodiversity and Social Change and in the Disability Rights and Neurodiversity section of the ASAN website.
My Memoir
"The Uncharted Path is an autism autobiography unlike any I’ve ever read.....I’d recommend The Uncharted Path to anyone on the spectrum, to anyone who has friends or relatives on the spectrum, and to anyone who cares for people on the spectrum. Her book is written straight from the heart.” —Gavin Bollard, author of Life with Asperger’s
“Cohen-Rottenberg is emotionally honest and skilled at relaying the stories from her childhood and adulthood that made her the person she is today....A highly recommended read."—Kate Goldfield, author of Common Scents: Adventures with Autism and Chemical Sensitivity
“What Rachel has written, few others would be able to....An enlightening journey."—Jon Gilbert, author of Same Child, Different Day
My memoir The Uncharted Path: My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism is now available in paperback for $17.95 and in PDF format for $8.95.
To purchase the book, please contact me by email. I accept payment via PayPal, by check, or by money order. You can also find the book for sale in paperback on Amazon.com.
Thank you for your interest in my work.
Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
rachel@journeyswithautism.com
My Visual Art
Sojourning in the Visual World www.sojournerartist.comUnique Visitors
16,701 | Unique Visitors |
