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Nov3
It’s the First Anniversary of My Autism Diagnosis!
9 CommentsA year ago this afternoon, I was getting ready to see an Asperger’s specialist, and I was very, very nervous. What if he didn’t diagnose me with Asperger’s? What if he did? As the hours crept by, I kept thinking, “You don’t have to go, you know. You can still back out. There’s still time. Go ahead. Back out. You know you want to.”
I’m so glad I went to the appointment! Here are the top ten reasons I’m celebrating my autism diagnosis today:
1. I have proof that I was right all along: I am different from other people.
2. Now that I know that my limitations are neurological, I take much better care of myself. I get more rest. I take more breaks. I have more time alone. I leave the driving to others. I protect my sensitive ears. And I don’t go to social events that only wear me out.
3. Instead of feeling like a loser because I don’t have gobs of friends and a busy social life, I’ve realized that a few good friends and a little bit of socializing go a long, long way. While others have to socialize for hours in crowded rooms, I get the same benefit after only ten minutes of pleasant conversation. Imagine all the time I save!
4. I no longer get angry when people talk to my husband and not to me. Instead of spending hours analyzing all the things my husband should have said or done to render me visible, I just say to him, “So, honey, was that enjoyable for you?” More time saved! Plus, instead of engaging in a conversation that I can’t follow anyway, I can sit back and watch my socially adept husband listen sympathetically to the entire life stories of others. Such fun!
5. When I find myself getting frustrated with people, I make fewer judgments about them. I’ve learned that my frustration usually stems from a sensory issue (such as when someone speaks too loudly or too quickly) or from a difference in basic wiring (such as when someone tries to make small talk). I still judge people based on character, but only when they do something really terrible—like starting a war to line the pockets of their friends. Other than that, I tend to lay off.
6. I’ve stopped going to psychotherapists who tell me that I need to work harder on my “issues” so that I can “soar” and reach my “true potential.” Instead, I now see an autism-literate therapist who helps me find ways to adapt to a world that is largely oblivious to my acute experience of it.
7. I can now explain to my daughter precisely why I can’t go to a mall, a video arcade, or an ice skating rink. Instead of coming up with hypotheses that sound suspiciously like excuses, I just say, “Sorry, hon. No can do. It’s the autism.”
8. Now that I know that my sense of “otherness” is the result of unchangeable neurological wiring, I no longer feel compelled to talk myself hoarse trying to get people to understand me.
9. After fifty-one years of life, I am finally growing into my own skin.
10. After a lifetime of searching, I have discovered a community into which I fit.
Thank you all for being part of it.
© 2009 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
9 Responses to “It’s the First Anniversary of My Autism Diagnosis!”
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Mazel tov
And thank you for letting us share your journey. I feel that maybe I haven’t made as much progress on the road as you have, but I have learnt so much from you and it is a help. -
no, thank YOU.
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John Dale Lyons November 3rd, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Mazal tov. There should be a holiday along the lines of a birthday or anniversary for this
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Happy Anniversary. Life is easier when one can understand the why’s of things that happen. Even though my diagnosis is self administered, it’s made all the difference in the world.
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LizzieK8 – i totally understand. i just had my formal diagnosis, and it is nice and all, it being made official by a real doctor and everything, but the real biggie was when i realized ‘OMG, that explains EVERYTHING’. well, not everything, but a lot.
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Mazel Tov, Rachel!
It’s been 8 years since I was diagnosed when I was 15 and I still get the self-hating “you are lazy, you are stupid, you are a liar, you are making excuses” memes I have internalized running through my head.
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Johanna November 6th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Mazel Tov Rachel! So honoured to be able to read about your journey and learn. It helps me a lot in understanding what my son might be feeling. I hope that you can go on celebrating your uniqueness and let us be part of it!
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Rachel,
Your writing is phenomenal! I found your blog through James at That Explains Everything.
My husband and I are NT parents adopting a little boy on the spectrum. I have loved every post I’ve read so far. Thank you for opening up your soul to share with all of us. I plan to be a supportive mom to this little man and it helps me to see things from an adult’s point of view.
Thank you!
Happy Anniversary,
~S -
Hi Sarah,
Thanks for writing, and welcome. How exciting that you’re adopting! Feel free to ask questions around here anytime, either on-blog or by email.
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About Me
I'm Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg, and I publish this blog, Journeys with Autism. I'm a wife, mother, writer, singer, artist, photographer, community volunteer, and the chapter leader for the Vermont Chapter of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN).
At the age of 50, I awoke to my place on the autism spectrum and discovered a world of gifts, struggles, and life-changing possibilities. My latest book, The Uncharted Path: My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism, was published in July of 2010. My work has also appeared in Shift Journal of Alternatives: Neurodiversity and Social Change and in the Disability Rights and Neurodiversity section of the ASAN website.
My Memoir
"The Uncharted Path is an autism autobiography unlike any I’ve ever read.....I’d recommend The Uncharted Path to anyone on the spectrum, to anyone who has friends or relatives on the spectrum, and to anyone who cares for people on the spectrum. Her book is written straight from the heart.” —Gavin Bollard, author of Life with Asperger’s
“Cohen-Rottenberg is emotionally honest and skilled at relaying the stories from her childhood and adulthood that made her the person she is today....A highly recommended read."—Kate Goldfield, author of Common Scents: Adventures with Autism and Chemical Sensitivity
“What Rachel has written, few others would be able to....An enlightening journey."—Jon Gilbert, author of Same Child, Different Day
My memoir The Uncharted Path: My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism is now available in paperback for $17.95 and in PDF format for $8.95.
To purchase the book, please contact me by email. I accept payment via PayPal, by check, or by money order. You can also find the book for sale in paperback on Amazon.com.
Thank you for your interest in my work.
Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
rachel@journeyswithautism.com
My Visual Art
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